When an older man is in an intimate relationship with a younger woman, we rarely bat an eye. It’s a relationship structure that we have become used to seeing in Nigerian culture.
However, we are much less accustomed to seeing relationships in which the woman is noticeably older than the man.
Older women can be attracted to younger men because they are in peak physical condition and are a natural fit for an energetic lifestyle. Women who have remained motivated to take care of their health and stay fit could want to date a man who is a decade younger but looks almost their age.
A “cougar” is typically defined as an older woman who is primarily attracted to younger men, often involving a sexual relationship. Although there are no precise ages, the woman is usually 35 years or older with the man more than eight years her junior.
The attention of a younger person seems that much more flattering because it seems to act as an additional boost to the self-esteem; the confidence of being able to attract someone much younger.
In a society with definite ageist overtones, it is frequently observed that people, specially women, tend to start viewing themselves as less appealing or unattractive after a certain age. At such a time, the fancy of a younger person may seem to be just the right dose of self-confidence boost.
Over the course of interviews, it was discovered that women were more sexually drawn to younger men because they believed younger partners had more to offer sexually. Specifically, women indicated that compared to men their own age, they felt younger men tended to have higher sex drives, could last longer during sex (or be physically ready to have sex again sooner), and had more reliable erections.
Also Women in this category however, felt that being older than their male partner allowed them to embrace their sexual assertiveness. Many women felt that younger men fantasized about older, sexually assertive, and experienced women and said their younger male partners were often appreciative of them taking a more active role.
Women who date younger men go against traditional sexual scripts but a discovery this suggest that women who participate in age-discordant relationships in Nigeria may be more comfortable asserting their sexual needs, and they may experience heightened levels of sexual pleasure. Notably, the sample was largely Caucasian and highly educated, so it would be important to study a more diverse sample to better understand the full range of women’s experiences.
